Not who you used to be.
~ Beth Mende Conny
"Well, now that we have
seen each other," said the
Unicorn, "if you believe in
me, I'll believe in you.
Is that a bargain?"
This is a Facebook post I made on my personal Facebook page last week. If you notice the day at the top it says Thursday. I wrote this post the very day before the tragedy in Connecticut. Like everyone around the world... the news made me sick to my stomach and like every parent in the world I couldn't stop staring at my child since the tragedy occurred. I was going to blog about my post later that evening, but time got away from me and I knew I'd get around to it sometime this weekend. Little did I know how much more it would actually mean from when I had originally posted it. Before I continue let me please say as millions have already said... the parents and families of those lost in this horrific tragedy will forever be in my heart and prayers.
So my two days of "disasters" (and we all know why I'm putting that in quotes now) began on Wednesday morning... my little man had been sick for a few days and so had I. Just your basic run of the mill colds... nothing that was alarming in any way. Wednesday morning had been our best morning yet, so Grandma asked if we were up for going to Costco. I got my son and myself ready and the three of us loaded into the truck. I literally pulled out of the driveway and my little guy had a coughing attack so I put the truck in park and tended to him quickly... then all was well, I put the truck in drive, drove to the end of my street... and my poor baby started vomiting non-stop! I quickly put the truck in reverse, backed up and pulled back into our driveway... I grabbed what I could to help him and then my mom helped out (thank God for Grandmas) as I ran inside to get a towel. Nothing was salvageable... so to speak... meaning there was major clean up after all was said and done. I grabbed another towel and laid it over my shoulder and grabbed my baby out of his car seat and took him inside. I ran the tub and cleaned him up... The whole time that boy of mine never cried and just wondered what was going on. That was the first time he had a real vomiting episode like that and not just "baby" spit up. Poor thing.... So anyway that was "disaster" number one. Yeah sure... no big deal right? Well add being sick and pregnant on top of it all and it wasn't that much fun.
"Disaster" number two... The next morning I took my cat to get groomed... yes I said cat. They wanted us there at 7am!!! My son doesn't wake up typically before 8:30am therefore NEITHER DO I!!! So having my cat at the groomers by 7am was not exciting for my pregnant sick self whatsoever. I dropped him off... went home for only about 20 minutes before getting the phone call that he was ready to be picked up. All this time my son was sleeping peacefully (at least one of us was). So I went to go pick up my now not so furry fur ball (don't worry Grandma stayed with my little man each time I left) and all was going well... That is until I smelled something not so good in the air halfway home. My poor kitty decided to use his crate as a litter box!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't get home fast enough... Luckily the crate held it all in (along with his very fluffy tail... bleh) and my truck did not get dirty. So as soon as we got back to the house straight to the bathtub I went again... this time with my cat. Luckily he doesn't hate water and I dropped him in a tub a quarter full of warm water, soaked him down as best I could then let him jump out onto a towel and dried him as best I could. Then came cleaning the crate. Sigh.... So yeah... not really all that bad... but add in being sick, pregnant... and oh yeah did I mention my husband had been out of town since the previous Monday?
So after all was cleaned up... my son woke up (perfect timing) and our day "began". I was making his breakfast and thinking about how I was going to list my complaints on Facebook as soon as we sat down and let everyone know how much the past two days had sucked. Something happened to me though... as I was preparing my son's breakfast and watching him play and watch some morning cartoons... I'm not quite sure what it was but my spirits were just lifted in a way... I thought of all the events that had occurred in the last 48 hours and all I could think to myself was... how much worse it could really all be. You see I'm not a stranger to tragedy... we lost my father in a horrible plane crash when I was a little girl and although I was incredibly young I remember every single detail of that horrible day. I know what it's like to have someone one day and have them ripped from your lives the next. It is because of this knowledge that I have forever since seen and treated life differently.
Some people I know think I take it to an extreme... I even have friends that think I live too much in the "what if" and may possibly need therapy. When my friend mentioned that to me I discovered that I DO live in the "what if" but you know what... I was proud of that. Sure... I'm definitely not saying someone should live in a hole their whole lives AFRAID of the "what if"... but that's not how I am. I'm simply AWARE of the "what if"... knowing that it probably won't happen but that it very possibly could. It's because of that frame of mind that I don't let an hour go by without telling my loved ones what they mean to me, that I don't voice my gratitude out loud for all my blessings, that I don't soak up simple every day moments KNOWING they are amazing and that it's those simple moments that will live on forever in my heart if it should all be taken away from me in a blink of an eye.
The original name of this post was going to be "Do You Complain Too Much?"... I was going to name it that because sometimes all I see on Facebook all day long are complaints about life and "woe is me" type of posts... and every time I see them I shout out at my computer screen "You're alive!", "You're healthy!", "You're not in the hospital with a sick child or family member afraid they may lose their lives!!". I literally think those thoughts to myself right before I'm about to complain about something so incredibly mundane... and you know what... unless it's one of those horrible things I just listed or something along the same lines.... IT'S ALL MUNDANE! If you can get up the next morning and have a semi-normal day with your husband and children there to kiss and hug... Then there should be nothing to complain about. Sure... LIFE. IS. HARD. It's supposed to be and everyone has their own individual trials and tribulations that they go through and yes sometimes it's worth an aggravated grumble or two... but when you feel like things just suck and you wish your life were different... just remember the "what if"... What if your life WERE different... and not for the better but for the worse?
It may not always be easy but one should try to be more grateful in life... even for the bad things that happen to them... because in hindsight, aside of course from tragedy, it's probably not all that bad. If you've got a cold, be grateful you don't have the flu. If finances suck, be grateful for peanut butter and jelly. If your child is misbehaving, be grateful your child is there, right in front of you, misbehaving... rather than not there at all.
Do you have goals or maybe resolutions for the new year? Have you failed in the past at keeping those goals or resolutions? I certainly have... I think one of the main reasons that I haven't been very successful in the past, is because they end up just being this nagging thing in the back of my head that I ignore. This year I'm taking a different approach.
My first step is to stop calling what I want to achieve this upcoming year "resolutions". This word, in my opinion, puts a time frame/limit on attaining my goals which is a quick way to fail at doing so. So this year I'm going to create a vision board or you could call it an inspiration board. Now I'm certainly NOT the one to come up with this idea... I've heard it of it plenty of times from many people, as I'm sure you have, but I have yet to actually do it. So I've bought my poster board and I'm ready to go.
There are a few approaches you can take in doing a vision board. You can take your old magazines and cut out pictures that are related to your goals, you can draw them if you're artfully inclined, you can use stickers, markers, crayons, or just simple words if you're a minimalist. I'm still a major kid at heart and mine is going to include all of the above! So now you know what to use.... what about what to actually put on you board? This obviously is going to differ for everyone... so just open your mind, sit quietly, breathe and meditate on this for a while... or you may not have to. You might have everything you want to do already at the forefront of your mind... that's great! For those of you who don't... do not make this a grueling process... just let it come to you. It can be things that will perhaps take all year to achieve, half the year or just a few months. Are there any habits you may want to form or perhaps habits you may want to break? Your board is your canvas.... and it's for YOU only... so put ANYTHING you want on it!!
Now you may ask next... how is this going to help me? I don't know really... for all I know it may not. But if you're anything like me... SEEING something every day, that I created with my own two hands would be a total inspiration!! There is also this thing called the Law of Attraction.... have you ever heard of that? Here is the Wikipedia definition: "The law of attraction is the name given to the belief that "like attracts like" and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results.". I cannot tell you HOW MUCH I believe in the law of attraction and how much I have benefited from it. Creating a vision board FULL of positive and beautiful goals sends a message out to not only YOU but the Universe on a daily basis that THIS is what you want... and not only CAN you do it but you DESERVE it as well!!
So... are you going to create a vision board for 2013?? I am!!! I'm probably going to start on mine tonight and I can't wait to share it with you!!! I may even be inspired to show you by video!!! I'm so excited!!! Happy December everyone!!!