So have you seen this around Facebook?
It's been popping up on my news feed for weeks now and personally.... Well I just don't like it. I understand that most may take it as a joke but others I assure you take this quite seriously.
There are several reasons why this list of rules makes me cringe deep down inside everytime I see it. The fact is... I never plan on being THIS involved in my son's love life. All I can do is hope that I've raised him in a way to recognize the good ones and avoid the bad ones when it comes to dating.
This list of rules shows way too much control of a mother over her son... And if a mother feels the need to have this much control when it comes to her son dating, well...
Nope sorry... Couldn't come up with a justifiable reason. If your son is old enough to date... Let him be! If we are talking about teenagers well then of course the typical rules and curphew stuff applies but I STILL think it's too much... From the way this list reads it sounds like we are talking about an adult male as the son... And a mother who has those kinds of rules for the woman dating her son.... Well... That's just asking for trouble.
So...I feel I need to come up with another list. One that is true in my eyes and hopefully in others who are like me. I think I'll call it...
"So You Want My Son to Love You?"
Advice from a mother.. to her son's girlfriend, fiancé, or wife:
1. BELIEVE... In what you ask? Everything.... Believe in love, miracles, magick, a higher power. Believe that the good guys always win. Believe that love will always prevail. In a world where we already know, far too well, that horrible things do and will happen... You need to be that glimmer of hope that keeps my son going when everything goes wrong... and if I do my job right... He will also be yours. Believe in my son.
2. LAUGH OUT LOUD... Don't think that being an adult means letting go of your kid at heart. Be silly, find joy in funny things, be happy, PLAY! Others may stare and they may get annoyed... Feel sorry for those people... Don't let them change you. Don't let them change my son.
3. LET HIM BE A GENTLEMAN! I taught him no other way to be... Be receptive of it! It doesn't mean you can't do it on your own... It means my son sees you as a lady! Take it as a compliment.
4. BE STRONGER THAN HE IS... Is this one confusing? Let's face it... He's a man... You're a woman. If you're not sure what that means yet you will. You have instinct, you have power. Know how and when to channel the goddess that you are.
There it is... That's my list. Common sense? Maybe... Short? Absolutely! My son will have his own rules. All I know is that I look forward to meeting the woman my son chooses to bring home one day. She should not fear me for I will not fear her.
Okay so maybe that's a bit extreme but that's all I could think of to title this post.... How about we call it a separation... a permanent separation with visitation rights with my smartphone, tv and laptop during nap times and occasionally on the weekends. Yeah.... that's better. Now here's why...
Last week it just dawned on me that I've become too darn dependent on our TV... Now I'm not against watching TV... not in the least in fact. I love TV.... I'm EXTREMELY picky with what my son watches and I think he's learned a lot from the shows he sees. But since the baby has been born it's kinda been an every day all day kinda thing. Plus the baby is catching some views of the TV just because it's always on and that I really don't approve of that. I never even let my son watch TV till he was two. So that was my first clue. I really don't want my newborn being entertained and missing out on the real life lessons all around because of a TV screen... and hey you know what? That goes for my son too!
My next clue was how I was treating my almost four year old. When I stood back and looked at the situation I saw myself being too short with him and too detached. I reminded myself that HE was my job.... nothing else but him and my new baby girl were the only things that deserved my utmost attention during the day with the next in line being our home. So I made the decision right then and there that we were going to just stop.... No more TV during the day and no more smartphone for me unless the kiddos are napping or playing with their daddy on the weekends.
Today is our second day trying out this new system.... Our first day was last Friday... and we are LOVING it. The thing I noticed the MOST is I haven't lost my cool with my son... which actually makes me super sad because it makes me realize that the reason I've been losing my cool with him in the past is because he's been seeking the attention that I was giving to the internet. Ugh.... shaking my head in shame over here... Okay... brushing it off now.... because I'm changing it. I've ALREADY changed it and I am proud of myself for recognizing that something wasn't quite right.
You know what's icing on the cake both Friday and today? My house is getting CLEAN!!! Our priorities are better... I'm making things fun... and we're getting things done!
I didn't realize how much could be missed by the simple act of checking things like Facebook and Pinterest in a day.... I was missing out on my child's life. They grow so fast and before we know it I will have wondered where all the time went. I don't want to look back and say it all went to my phone. NOTHING is more important than my babies. I am so excited. For all you homemakers out there... if things aren't quite right and you're not accomplishing what you feel you should... take a step back and see if maybe you check in on the internet a bit too much... it may be something you can try to give up as well!
Oops! GOTTA GO!!! My precious boy is awake! ;)
So when I was pregnant a little over three years ago with our son... my husband and I did a photo shoot of the two of us and my pregnant belly. This time around I've been feeling pretty guilty about not being able to do the same with this pregnancy. After pondering over it for bit I realized that the photo shoot from my last pregnancy isn't actually all that great LOL!!! There are a few shots that I like but I never fell in love with them enough to even print them out and frame them. In fact I'm not sure I could even find the CD of photos right now if I wanted to! So that got me thinking about this one picture my hubby took when we were pregnant with our son... we were just fooling around one night with the camera and were doing a bunch of silly shots. Well one of them ended up turning out pretty cool in our opinion. Mind you we are no where near professional photographers and we just had a point and shoot camera. Well that thought led to me thinking of a specific photo my hubby took during this current pregnancy and how I love it just as much.... and voila! A new idea was born!!
I decided that I would order a 5x7 print of each photo and frame them and hang the corresponding one in each of our baby's bedrooms!! The guilt was slowly drifting away. In my opinion I think that's even more special than a staged photo shoot. Each picture with their mommy happily showing off her pregnant belly of each of them. I received the prints in the mail today and as I was thinking of the types of frames I wanted to buy for them another idea popped into my head. I remembered that quite a while ago I had written a poem... a poem I thought I had lost but happily found and saved to my computer. I went searching for it, found it, read it and got a little teary eyed. This poem I decided would go alongside each photo in a double frame. A gift to my babies from their mama. I only hope that when I go searching tomorrow I find the perfect frames to hold two 5x7 prints... I know I've seen them before so hopefully it won't be a problem.
So since I don't share pictures of my baby (and baby to be) I figured I'd share my pregnant belly pics that I've chosen for this special gift. I will also share the poem I wrote that will go alongside them. Please remember that when I write poetry, my heart and sole goes into it and they are quite special to me and extremely personal. So if you feel inspired to share please give credit back to me... it would break my heart to see this poem out there being claimed by someone else. I thank you.
I made you from scratch
There is only one "you"
Take care of yourself
Be kind and be true.
Don't mark up your body
For you have only one skin
And I made you from scratch
Must I tell you again?
There's only one "you"
And you're beautiful see.
Don't put yourself down
Else you're putting down me.
Smile to everyone
So your heart won't turn sour.
Others may hurt you
But don't give them your power
Don't follow the crowd
Don't try to be cool.
Cuz I made you from scratch
I made only one "you"...
By: Linda Leigh L.
Singing and dancing... those are two things that I used to LOVE to do all the time. Doing either or even both at the same time would make my soul feel like this picture... FREE! I realized I don't sing and dance like I used to... not at all actually. Now I'm not talking recital type singing and dancing... I'm talking about in the shower belting out tunes along with the music, holding the hairbrush up to your mouth as your microphone, and dancing like crazy knowing not a soul was watching throughout your house. That is what I used to love to do... and I'm not talking as a kid either! LOL!
As I sat down to think about why I don't do this anymore I couldn't come up with any good answers. Okay so since the last time I've done this I've gotten married, became a homemaker, became a mother... None of which were good enough reasons. If anything... those things give me MORE of a reason to do what makes me feel good. Another way to describe what I'm trying to explain is... What brings out the kid in you? I've known far too many people who have suppressed the child in them far too early. I think the reason they do this is they possibly confuse the child within them with immaturity. I personally don't think there is anything immature about shining your inner light.
So... do you remember what your passions are? No matter how silly? Do you remember what ignites your inner light? Even if it's something that makes you feel silly or even if it's something as simple as a hobby. Prioritize those things into your life again if you've let them go. Dance, sing, draw, paint, read... whatever frees your soul... ESPECIALLY if you have children! Teach them there's nothing wrong with keeping your inner child alive... there's nothing wrong with shining bright!
Hello lovelies! I hope everyone had a FABULOUS week... Wasn't the picture of my cat Basil I posted on Wednesday the cutest thing EVER?! We have a group of characters here in our household... both the two and the four legged kind! I really think I'm going to like my new "schedule" of posting... I get a chance to post quick notes, tips, thoughts and ideas to you throughout the week on Facebook... On Mindful Mondays I get a chance to explore awesome inspirational quotes and share them with you... Wordless Wednesdays are just plain fun and on Friday nights I can go into detail about anything I've been wanting to share with you all week!
This week I've been thinking about how blessed I am to be a homemaker and a stay at home mom. When I was in Arizona this past month someone said something to me that really put things in perspective for me. What they said reminded me that this job that I have of keeping our home and raising our son is something a lot of women dream about and may never have. Now if you've been with me for a while now you know that I'm always putting my gratitude out there... especially towards my husband for giving our little family this wonderful life and making it possible for me to stay home. In fact I think I thank him almost every day. However... even though I'm grateful... coming to the realization that there are hundreds to thousands of moms out there who every day say to themselves or to their best friends, sisters or moms... "If only I had the chance to be a stay at home mom I would......" has stopped me in my tracks.
When I thought of that simple phrase, I have to be honest... I somewhat panicked! Sure I've been appreciative and grateful that I've been a stay at home mom, but have I been doing "what every mom dreams of"? My son is two and a half now and knowing that my only responsibility these past two years has been just HIM... I have to say I don't think I've made the most out of our days. I don't think I've filled in the blank to "If only I had the chance to be a stay at home mom I would _______". Don't get me wrong... this isn't a post about not living up to expectations or not being a good enough mom. It's not about that at all... I've taken a million pictures, we've laughed, cuddled, played, made millions of memories and I've recorded as much of them as I can... I've done my best as a mother.
What I'm talking about is taking advantage of this amazing and beautiful opportunity that we have as stay at home moms... Living out our dreams... Making one or two days a week all about enjoyment and fulfillment instead of chores and schedules. We needs to sit back and meditate on what it was we once dreamed way back when... During the time when we were waiting to meet "the one", or when we were trying to conceive, or even as we were watching our bellies grow.
If I'm able to stay home with my children one day I'm going to play them all my favorite songs and dance with them all day long!
If I'm a stay at home mom my baby and I are going to have lunch at the park every day!
Wouldn't it be awesome if I was a stay at home mom and could meet my girlfriend for lunch with our babies all the time?!
What were your dreams? Why not get out and do them! No not every day... I know that's not possible... but maybe we should dedicate once a week or even once or twice a month to making the most of those days. Schedule it if you have to... schedule a day of "nothing" so you can spend every moment with your child(ren) filling the day with awesome memories as though you had a full time job and that was your one day off for a while. That's it!! Schedule a "day off" and do something MAGICKAL! Take pictures and collect keepsakes. Now if this is something you're already doing... GREAT!! If not... take a few moments... sit quietly or grab your journal and pretend you work full time away from home. What would you do with your kiddos on your day off to make the most of your day together?
First and foremost I must say that what I'm about to write is strictly my opinion on the information I've found... I encourage you to do your own research and make an informed and educated decision on what products you choose to use.I am...or I should say "was"... a buyer of California Baby
products and have been since my son was born two years ago... I made the choice to buy their products because they offered body wash and lotions made with minimal ingredients non of which included chemicals. Today I found out through a chat room that California Baby has changed their ingredients to include sodium benzoate
. According to consumers... babies are breaking out into welts and rashes and didn't understand until they discovered the change in ingredients.Now you may look at those ingredients and say to yourself... I'm fine with that. And that's perfectly okay. My point is I just want you to be INFORMED. And even if the ingredients don't sound that bad... the real test is whether or not the child will have an adverse reaction. Most of the time... when a parent is buying California Baby products it is because their baby's skin is very sensitive like my son's.... and I personally am not willing to test it out on him. The more we educate ourselves the safer our children are.Other Magickal HappeningsMade From Scratch
My son was born a little over two years ago by cesarean section. It was unplanned and something I was hoping didn't have to happen but it turns out for multiple reason it was EXTREMELY necessary. Not only was he turned the wrong way, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his abdomen. They got him out and aside from a not so memorable recovery moment of the epidural wearing off a bit too soon, we both were healthy and happy. The first weeks and months of our new life were incredible... but even still something was lacking. For whatever reason, I as a mother was not feeling that bond...
that melts your heart, can't even stand it, you want ten more, feeling was non-existent I'm ashamed to say. Of course I loved him, and of course I'd do anything in my power to protect him. However when I heard other mothers speak of that magical feeling... I could not relate. It made me feel guilty... I felt like I wasn't "meant" to be a mother if I wasn't pouring out tears of happiness just by looking at our new little bundle of joy. This went on I'm sad to say for a while... I nursed him, bathed him, took very good care of him... all the things a good mother does, but along with it came resentment and thoughts like "What was I thinking?!". Wow... crazy personal, not ever spoken out loud kind of feelings I'm sharing with you here huh? Why you ask? Because here I am over two years later... with this beautiful aching pull in my heart, every moment of every single day due to none other than that same little bundle of joy who has now become a slightly bigger yet still tiny stumbling bundle of joy. Everything from his curly hair, to his expressions, to his imagination, to his voice, his singing, his words and sentences, his sign language, his tears, his laughter, his scent, his teeth... the list goes on and on. This is my son... and I am his mother... and nothing on this beautiful green earth makes me smile or gives me more pride than he does... and just in case one of you out there is a new mama having these same feelings that I did... all I want to say is... Just wait and see.I'm not saying it'll take two years... what I'm saying is that out of nowhere... the magick will hit you. One day you'll be looking at that beautiful tiny human that YOU created
... and you'll fall in love. Just wait and see.Other Magickal HappeningsSimple Homemade Makeup Remover
Okay so it's quite late and we all have an early wake up tomorrow so I must turn in soon... but I wanted to share an awesome mama idea that I heard from my mommy's group tonight.
Have you ever found yourself in the middle... or even the beginning.... of an important phone call when your little one, out of nowhere, starts throwing a fit and begging for your attention? Well tonight someone shared with us that her friend keeps a small container of never before or rarely seen toys hidden away on top of the fridge... and when it's time to take or make an important phone call... out come the new and exciting toys to keep your child's attention!! This could be used in so many different areas and be of such a great help!! I just had to share!!
Night night for now! Tomorrow I think I'll head to the dollar store for our bucket full of special toys!
So lately my almost two year old has been on a major food strike. It is so incredibly discouraging when our children won't eat isn't it? Who knew getting our babies to eat would be one of the most challenging parts of raising kids. I certainly didn't. And then there's the added stress of making sure what they do eat is healthy!
My son's diet currently consists of bread, beans, waffles, peanut butter, and cheese quesadillas.... and no I can't hide things in the quesadilla because somehow, and don't ask me how, but somehow he will know, he will inspect the quesadilla and refuse to eat it if there is ANYTHING other than cheese in between those tortillas. Granted, all of those things are whole grain and organic where I can make it happen. And I must admit... He does occasionally get his McDonald's french fries because I do not believe on being on the extreme side of anything and a treat every now and then is okay to us. But there's not a single veggie that I can get him to eat or even a piece of fruit.
This morning I hit bottom on my discouragement scale. He spit out and refused the eggs that he was eating so well every morning for the past few months. Eggs were my savior... the "incredible edible egg" was always something I could turn to and it was delicious and nutritious for my boy. If he didn't eat anything all day but eggs I was still satisfied. But as of this morning eggs no longer make the cut and I was practically in tears. I messaged my group of mom friends, revealing I was in complete distress and at a loss of what to do. The sweet women that they are, all assured me that this is completely normal, common and by no means any fault of mine. And they are right! It's only my love and concern for my son and his health that makes this such a difficult thing to deal with. I provide him with all the love I possibly can and with a wonderful loving, supportive environment to thrive and grow in.
This is definitely not the end of the world and although I am anxious for the day where my son eats and enjoys a well balanced and delicious meal... or heck even his mama's spaghetti... For now I will be patient and I will just keep trying. As soon as I'm done typing this I'm thinking of making a fruit AND veggie smoothie and see where that takes us! My main reason for writing out my feelings today about this topic is so that any other mama's out there who are experiencing this or perhaps are about to embark on "solids" with their little one's... can be reminded that this is all simply just a phase, although it may last a while, and to not lose faith and that being concerned just means you are a great mom. Be patient and keep trying. We will all get to the point in our babies lives where they won't be babies anymore and we'll be wondering where in the world they are putting all the food that you swore you just bought.
My husband has been making some over night trips here and there, so my little monster and I have been spending a lot of quality time together recently... Just him and I. He is growing so fast and he is soaking up absolutely everything around him. I couldn't be more proud of him... He's beginning to form sentences that just melt my heart like "No phone mommy!" and "No bness mommy! No bness!" which is his version of No Business.... which is what I tell him I'm doing when I'm doing important things like budgeting or I don't know... ahem... blogging... ahem. Of course when he does this my heart goes pitty pat and I stop whatever I'm doing and scoop him up into my arms and give him tickle kisses.
The time when my husband and I agreed we would start trying for our second is quickly coming upon us and I have to admit I am wishing the clock would stop. So much of my heart feels like why... when my monster and I are in perfect harmony... would we do something to change that? I ache a bit on the inside when I think of another baby coming in and taking away these precious moments my son and I share together. But when I give it a moment... I realize... there's so much love overflowing from both my son's and my hearts... why wouldn't we share it with another?
My little man is so incredibly smart, I can see him teaching his baby sibling all that he knows and being so incredibly helpful. I can see him showering his baby sibling with not only love but kisses, lessons, and advice. In fact when I see what he has to offer, it's then that I think to myself... how could I not give this son of mine a brother or a sister. He was born to be a big brother... he has all the makings of the smart, strong, protective and loving older brother that so many who never had one wish they did.
I also realized that all that overflowing love I have felt for my son is being locked up and treasured... waiting to be released so that it can shower over our next child who will be loved just as much. For that is what a mother's heart is made out of... endless magickal love for ALL her children.