There was this girl I knew in Jr. High... we were good friends but didn't really hang out much outside of school.  There was only one time when I went to her house and I remember it specifically.  Her mother was either single or recently married to someone new and had another daughter quite a bit younger than my friend.  When we got to her house the little girl came running up to my friend and they embraced as though they hadn't seen each other in weeks.  My friend was so excited and had a huge smile on her face and continued to interact with her little sister the whole time I was there... This was very unlike most teenager's usual reaction to little siblings while friends were over, and extremely different from how my older sister treated me.  At first I thought maybe they didn't live together and the little sister was just there for her "weekend" or however divorced parent's systems works... but that wasn't the case.  I was amazed at how motherly my friend was being toward her little sister and at how she never showed any annoyance toward her.

I lost contact with this friend over the years but she's never left my mind.  There are mother's that I meet who seem to always laugh instead of get annoyed and who discipline with a smile instead of yelling.  I imagine this is the type of mother my friend is today if she has children.  I, unfortunately, am not that type of mother.  I get angry, I get annoyed, and sometimes those things get the best of me and I yell.  My mother was this way and my sister is this way so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I am this way too.  I know I can't be this perfectly happy mommy and wife 100% of the time and I'm pretty sure those mothers I meet are not like that 100% of the time either.  Although it wouldn't surprise me if my friend was.  I admire that kind of patience and calmness in people.  I'm not really one of those women who have a list of things they would change about themselves... I believe there is a reason and purpose for which you were born the way you were.  But I do wish I could be a bit more in control of my emotions while presented with something that makes me angry or irritated.

So I am far from perfect... but the simple fact that I recognize my imperfections I think is a therapy within itself.  It makes me aware of the next time something might happen that could arouse those feelings in me and I am able to anticipate and be better prepared for those moments.  So take a moment and confess to yourself what your imperfections are.  Fessing up to these truths may not only help you better understand yourself... but may help you better understand others as well.      

~ Be Magical!
5/14/2011 11:27:25 am

I can relate to this post.
My Mother had NO patience. None whatsoever. She'd scream the place down and throw things too.

I yell and lose my patience as well. I used to be a "thrower" when I was in my 20's but as I've grown and matured, I stopped that. I don't yell as much as I used to either. I think that we mellow as we get older.

It's not something that I'm proud of either and I envy those Mum's that can seem to keep it together all the time. However... I'm betting that they don't. If there's one thing that I've found in life it's that the people that seem to never have any problems, often times have ones worse than our own.

It's useless to compare ourselves to others. We all have our gifts and our weaknesses. I'm sure that you are a wonderful Mum and your kids wouldn't trade you in for anything. :)

((Hugs))
Laura

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5/14/2011 11:28:32 am

In my comment above the first paragraph looked I was saying that you threw things. That came out wrong... LOL

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5/14/2011 02:37:26 pm

Thanks for the kind words! I agree... comparing is something that we as moms shouldn't do and we all have something great to offer! :)

Linda Leigh

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Angel Young
5/16/2011 08:21:15 pm

I was just talking with my best friend about this exact same thing today. I always thought I was a patient person, and then I realized I had never had anything truely test my patience like a child. I often handle those unbearable situations with "grace" but there are times I just lose it, and feel guilty. My son is no stranger to the phrase "Mommy is sorry" and the especially long hug that accompanies it... I just remind myself that my kids will more likely remember me for the million of hugs and kisses I shower them with EVERYDAY over those occasional explosion...at least I hope

I love the way you represent motherhood so honeslty and accurately. Because I do believe we all have these moments, these thoughts, and these feeling. You are loving, and not judgemental, and I think all mommies need a friend, or at lease a voice, like you.

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5/16/2011 10:40:13 pm

You are right... they will remember the kisses and hugs more than anything. I'm so glad able to relate to my words. You being here motivates me to continue writing. Thanks for reading xoxo!

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