My husband and I had a serious conversation this past weekend discussing my feelings and how I felt a bit overwhelmed at times. He asked me to be specific in what I was feeling so I communicated to him how I was having a difficult time with our son in regards to putting him down for bed and how that was resulting in other things such as my mood, neck pain, etc. Our son is getting a bit older and has stopped nursing so bedtime is quite a bit more of a challenge than it ever was in his first 16 months of life. We as parents do not choose to do CIO (cry it out) so getting our boy to bed involves singing, patting, back rubs etc. and has recently been taking me more than an hour to accomplish. I told my husband how draining this is on me, especially after a typical homemaker's day and how taking my frustrations out on our little man was not fair to him because really.... what toddler doesn't make a fuss at bedtime.
After I was done expressing my feelings my husband asked me how he could help. We decided together that my husband would take over the bedtime ritual... together we would bathe our boy like we always do and then mama would massage baby which winds him down considerably. After that I say goodnight and leave as daddy reads him a couple of books and then puts him to sleep. We are on day three of this and all I can say is... HALLELUJAH! I am getting incredible ME time when daddy is handling bedtime and frankly... he's better at it! He gets our son down in half the time it was taking me.
This has made such a huge difference in my stress level and my mood... I am amazed. And the precious thing is... Daddy and baby have irreplaceable bonding time that they both enjoy. Tonight after putting our son down my husband came down and said how glad he was that he is able to do this and that after 18 months of him not being able to really help because we were still nursing he finally feels useful. I graciously thanked him and he responded with... "It's the least I can do". I love my husband... I had something to say and he listened and even after I reluctantly told him that I couldn't "do it all" he still claims that I do.
If you need help... ask for it. If you need to talk... talk. Whether it's with your husband, a friend, your sister or mother. It's alright to share how you feel... even if that feeling is you need a hand. You are NOT claiming defeat. This is the hardest job a woman can have... and if you have a good support system they will understand. If you don't have a support system... take comfort in the fact that you are not alone and no matter what you believe... God or no God, Christian or not... you are never presented with something you cannot handle.
~ Be Magical!
After I was done expressing my feelings my husband asked me how he could help. We decided together that my husband would take over the bedtime ritual... together we would bathe our boy like we always do and then mama would massage baby which winds him down considerably. After that I say goodnight and leave as daddy reads him a couple of books and then puts him to sleep. We are on day three of this and all I can say is... HALLELUJAH! I am getting incredible ME time when daddy is handling bedtime and frankly... he's better at it! He gets our son down in half the time it was taking me.
This has made such a huge difference in my stress level and my mood... I am amazed. And the precious thing is... Daddy and baby have irreplaceable bonding time that they both enjoy. Tonight after putting our son down my husband came down and said how glad he was that he is able to do this and that after 18 months of him not being able to really help because we were still nursing he finally feels useful. I graciously thanked him and he responded with... "It's the least I can do". I love my husband... I had something to say and he listened and even after I reluctantly told him that I couldn't "do it all" he still claims that I do.
If you need help... ask for it. If you need to talk... talk. Whether it's with your husband, a friend, your sister or mother. It's alright to share how you feel... even if that feeling is you need a hand. You are NOT claiming defeat. This is the hardest job a woman can have... and if you have a good support system they will understand. If you don't have a support system... take comfort in the fact that you are not alone and no matter what you believe... God or no God, Christian or not... you are never presented with something you cannot handle.
~ Be Magical!
